A letter to my father

A letter to my father

I’m writing this letter to my dad after his passing but the timing is OK for a few reasons. The first is that he was well aware of how I feel about him and this is written for everyone else to get a glimpse of what he was really like. The second reason is that it would have been really awkward reading all this to him while he was still alive. And finally, some of these insights and lessons are only coming clear to me now. As I think back of all the things he’s done and things he’s said, the way he handled himself throughout his life, even up to the very end, I’m always amazed at the man he is.

I also know, that he knows what he has accomplished in his life, because he lived his life in a very deliberate manor, carrying with him a code of honor that was passed down to him and all his siblings, by his father, his father’s father, and clearly a long line of honorable gentlemen before him. His kind of character is the kind that has to be instilled, developed and nurtured, by strong mentoring and by good example.

This is my tribute to my father.

Dear dad, I’d like to thank you, for all that you’ve done, and for all you’ve taught me. By watching you, and following you, I’ve learned so many valuable lessons in life and I know that I will probably understand many more as time passes and I remember how you dealt with different occurrences throughout life.

For now though, I’ve put together a list of some of the most important things you’ve taught me.

Number one on my list is honesty. You were an honest man and you made it clear that you expected it and appreciated it from others around you. You demanded it from us, your family. Sometimes, that level of honesty could be uncomfortable for some people, so you also taught me courtesy. You taught me that, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”. I’ve seen you sit quietly through many interactions with others. Sometimes you barely talked at all, to certain people. 

You also taught me to be courteous with your actions, how to hold a door for another, to say “after you”. You told us to always say please and thank you and also to be aware of our actions, to be considerate of others. You were a true gentleman.

You taught me patience. I’m not a patient person by nature, but I practice it daily because you’ve shown me the rewards that come with being patient. Some of my greatest gifts in life have come after many years of practicing patience. Patience with people, patience with nature and patience with whatever life is bringing us.

You taught me courage, unwavering courage. The courage to face my fears, to try something new, to take a chance, to rise to a challenge and the courage to stick to my convictions.

You taught me responsibility. Responsibility to my family, in my community and for the results of my actions. That my actions would determine my future. Never to blame others for my results, but to take responsibility for them myself.

You taught me perseverance and conviction. That once you made your mind up to do something, to see it through. To never give up, or quit, just because it was hard. You taught me to choose something that I desired to achieve, and to develop the skill to accomplish it, and stick to it, and see it through. Because I’ve followed your advice, your example, I’ve never had a boring day in my life. A lot of challenges, a lot of frustration, but never boredom.

You taught me to overcome adversity. That obstacles are just a normal part of the process, and when you hit one, just pause, reassess, and continue on around it. When you hit an obstacle, it seemed like you took it on as a personal challenge. You always rose to the occasion, using even more cleverness and resourcefulness to overcome any adversity you ever encountered.

You taught me that skill is something you develop, not something you acquire. To get good at anything, it just took lots of focus and practice, and that learning never stops. There is no end goal in acquiring a skill, just a never ending quest towards excellence.

NOTHING’S IMPOSSIBLE! Those words still ring in my head, every time I hear someone say “I can’t, it’s impossible”. Of all the lessons you taught me, this one stands out the most. Probably because of the conviction in your voice when you said it. Nothing got under your skin more than hearing someone say “”that’s impossible” “NOTHINGS IMPOSSIBLE!” I’ve never heard any words come out of your mouth with more intensity than those, and I live by those words, “Nothing’s impossible”.

Pride, you taught me the true meaning of the word. Not boastfulness, not arrogance, but pride. How to take pride in your career, your workmanship and accomplishments. Also how to be proud of those you decide to surround yourself with, your friends, your family and your crew.

Humor, dang you were funny! But it was such a subtle kind of humor than it went right over many a person head. You had a very dry but very clever sense of humor. It was so ingrained in your personality that it just came out automatically, with barely a thought. You never made a big deal about it, never explained it to anyone, but you were funny as hell, and I almost always got it.

You also taught me sarcasm. Oh boy did you teach me that, and it was almost always at all our expenses. Your sarcasm was never mean spirited, just clever, witty and funny as all get out! The funniest thing about your humor is that it was never planned or rehearsed, or thought of in advance. It just rolled out of your mouth as naturally as taking a breath.

You taught me introspection. To think before you speak. Along with that crazy sense of humor, comes great responsibility. It took me a while to learn that lesson. Some things were better left unsaid. Sometimes you were really quiet, and sometimes I am too.

You taught me humility. With all your amazing skills, you were a very humble person. It’s no wonder so many people like you, why so many people love you.

You also taught me kindness. That it’s better to be kind, than to always try and be right.

You taught me how to love. When you loved someone, it was with all your heart. You loved our mom like no other could have. Yours was a love story of the ages. Now you are finally together again.

Along with that great love, you taught loyalty. You were fiercely loyal, to your lover, and to your family and friends

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You taught me faith, to have faith in our Father in Heaven. To have faith in life, that in the long run, everything will work out as intended. You taught me to have faith in myself, and in my potential.

You taught me honor. You honored your own parents with the greatest of revelry. And today, I honor you and mom, and I promise you, that your spirit will live on in us, your children. And that your lessons of being a person of integrity will carry on to the generations that follow us.

Thank you dad, for teaching me how to be a man.